fishanelephant

Keep Fishing.
You are the elephant.
You are the charm.

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My head aches

I see you everywhere I go, in everything I do. Still.

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Permalink gq: Terrell Owens: Broke, Alone And In Exile This morning, the news came that Terrell Owens—future Hall of Fame wide receiver and one of the most famous men in football—will play for and co-own the Allen Wranglers, a tiny, unknown indoor football league team in Texas. It’s a long, long way from the NFL, but at least T.O. has a job. GQ contributor Nancy Hass just profiled Owens in our February issue, and it’s a sad, fascinating portrait of a broke, lonely superstar slowing coming to grips with the twilight of his career. The full piece is here. Below, an excerpt about the remarkable state of Owens’s finances. Under similar circumstances, a lesser talent with a smaller ego might eat crow and feign gratitude. Owens’s lack of contrition is either principled or plain crazy, considering how much he needs to play. Not just the kind of “need” you see in superstars whose egos are wrapped up in being in the limelight, the ones who can’t let go as age slows them down. Needs it, as he’s not afraid to admit. Owens may have made a lot of money in his career—at least $80 million—but he insists almost all of it is gone. It’s not a matter of having lived too large—he was never the type to stockpile Ferraris or build himself a compound; the flashiest car he ever drove was a Mercedes, and while he indeed racked up a few homes that cost as much as $4 million, the only crib he classifies as even mildly sick by pro-ball standards was the one he bought in Atlanta to live in during the Philly off-season. The problem, he says, is that he’s by nature too trusting, loyal to a fault, despite everyone’s carping that he’s selfish. It’s the sad old stereotypical song of the up-from-nothing black athlete: He let other people take care of things. He says his financial advisers (informally recommended by Rosenhaus) put him in a series of risky, highly leveraged ventures that he didn’t discover until autumn 2010, when he finally demanded a full accounting. And of course there were the houses and condos, which he had always figured he could rent out; they became dead weight when the real estate market collapsed in 2008. Individually they weren’t terribly lavish, but together the mortgage nut is reportedly almost $750,000 a year. The Atlanta house is on the market; the south Jersey place he paid $3.9 million for was sold for $1.7 million in late 2010. Most egregious of all was the ill-fated Alabama entertainment complex (with an electronic-bingo component) that cost him $2 million. He invested, he says, at the suggestion of his advisers and a lawyer they steered him to, Pamela Linden. The venture turned out to be illegal in the state, not to mention a violation of the NFL’s policy prohibiting players from investing in gambling. Owens is suing Linden, as is Clinton Portis, the former Redskins running back who also invested. (Several other players and the boxer Floyd Mayweather Jr. also got sucked into the venture.) “I hate myself for letting this happen,” he says. “I believed that they had my back when they said, ‘You take care of the football, and we’ll do the rest.’ And in the end, they just basically stole from me.” Damn, I kind of feel bad for the guy…
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Baam!

Ramen & jjigae?

I made a soup (with a chicken based broth) with the consistency and heat of jjigae (+kimchi, tofu & mushrooms), and included ramen noodles, green onions, a little seaweed and hard-boiled eggs.

This was a great idea.

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Permalink Siri’s response to “where can I get drunk?” She knows her too well.
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i remember who you are.

1. are you in love? i’m in love with life.
2. ever kissed anyone with the name starting with a c? no.
3. are you watching tv? no.
4. if you were given a drug test right now would you pass? always.
5. do you know anyone in jail/prison? no. 
6. do you like the color green? it’s alright.
7. who were the last 3 people to send you a text? jackie, derek, broski.
8. ever drove into the ghetto to buy drugs? no, i don’t use drugs. 
9. do you have a crush? no. 
10. last restaurant you went to? ken ken.
11. last message you received? “i found my wallet.”
12. what did you do yesterday? played tourist with a friend, whooped him at the arcade, hit up a bar for the Laker game.
13. what’s the first thing you would do with five million dollars? house & bank.
14. how many hours did you sleep the night before last? It must have been like 14 hours. I was sick, though.
15. who was the last person that you felt was stalking you? hmm. good question.
16. have you ever been on your school’s track team? yeah.
17. do you have any piercings? just my ears.
18. if all of your friends were going on a road trip, would you? that’d be fun.
19. do you swear at your parents? god no.
20. is your phone right beside you? always.
21. have you cried today? no. 
22. do you think that someone is thinking about you right now? no.
23. have you ever punched someone? yes. 
24. have you ever crawled through a window? yes.
25. are you photogenic? no.
26. what do you spend most of your money on? rent, bills, food.
27. what was the last thing you did? stuck a piece of gum in my mouth.
28. do you have a tattoo? i have a few… 
29. what’s a secret you never told any of your friends? i guess everything i don’t tell them makes ‘em secrets, huh? 
30. ever told someone you love them and didn’t mean it? no. 
31. what do you think about your mom? she’s a very passionate person.
32. what do you think about your dad? my dad is awesome. he’s hilarious.
34. What objects are around you right now? lots of water bottles. haha
35. what’s on the walls of your room? some of my paintings, framed pictures.
36. are you genuinely happy? I am. 
37. do you have trust issues? I’m generally a very trusting person, but I’ve definitely learned not to trust people so easily as of late.
38. what are you looking forward to tomorrow? hmm, idk.
40. where’s the last place you went? i went to pick up coffee. 
41. what’s your favorite thing to do? hang out with my friends.
42. who do you miss right now? someone.  and my family.
43. lyrics stuck in your head? “i know what you did, i know, so i’ma let you taste her”
44. what are you doing this weekend? dinners, drinks, yoga. the usual. haha


Habit confessions. 

1. do you play with things when nervous? sometimes.
2. do you have an odd obsession with knives? uh… no.
3. do you sleep with the door open or closed? closed.
4. is there at least one thing you can’t stand? lack of common sense.
5. what is your worst habit? trying to please everybody.
6. do you love most of your friends? i love them all.

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Permalink Officially on vacation.
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The trouble is

The first couple of months were really rough. Now looking back, the past six months have been the best times of my life. I cut out all of the people that brought out the worst in me. I let go some of my bad habits and tendencies towards self-destructive behavior. I have surrounded myself with some of the most genuine, fun, loving, compassionate people. I am truly blessed to now have only people who bring out the best in me, who support my growth as a person and grow along with me. I treasure these times— memories in the making— but at times wish you were here to share in these special moments with me.